Hi everyone,
this is a story I wrote for my IEW writing class.
I hope you like it
( The underlines mark sentence dress-ups )
The
Conqueror
by
Noah
An
epic battle raged in the city of Persia, the Persian Army was
getting gradually smaller by the minute, because the
enemy army, which was winning, was commanded by the
powerful Alexander the Great! But Alexander had just become great
because of a city, a king, and a knot. Here’s how.
About
two days ago, Alexander the not-so-great was leading his army of
twenty men to Persia. Alexander took out his lucky sundial and
guessed that it was nighttime because the sun wasn’t there
to tell him. Looking up to the horizon again, he spotted a
wooden sign in the dirt. Alexander hopped off his horse and read the
sign out loud. “Gordium 5,280 feet away. I wonder which way it
is?” Alexander wondered. Then he turned and saw another sign that
rudely read “East, dummy!” When they arrived at Gordium,
they dashed in and immediately tried to find inns to stay in. They
all slept soundly...all except for Alexander who kept having
strange dreams on how to untie strange knots.
In
the morning they gobbled up breakfast and headed out the door.
They were about to leave the city when Alexander spotted something
that wasn’t there last night. It was a chariot that looked like it
was made of solid gold, because it was! Strongly tying it to a
bronze post was a knot so insanely untieable, it would take a
miracle to untie. “What is this giant knot and chariot doing
in the middle of town?” Alexander asked a nearby priest, who
replied. “It is a celebration of the Kings’ 78th birthday. If you
can untie the knot, you get the golden chariot and the title ‘Blah
Blah Blah the Great’.
It
was then 12:00 pm, and people from all over came in line in front of
the chariot to try to untie the knot. Alexander, who was
seventh in line had to wait hours for his turn at the knot. By the
time it was his turn, it was already 5:10 pm. When he dashed up to
the great knot, he carefully analyzed every
weak spot on the knot. He tried and tried until a thought struck him.
He took out his sword and gracefully sliced it in half. Everyone
around him gasped with shock because no one had thought of
slicing the knot in half. Everyone came to congratulate the
second man to untie the knot. After gaining the golden chariot,
thirty extra troops, and a new title, Alexander the Great set out to
conquer Persia and win.
